Holy crap second year is so brutal >.< So many projects and work and OMG MY BRAIN IS MELTING!

This is college people >.< and I'm just now getting the full brunt of it.... *shudders at the thought of third year*

Worst part is that I'm still not into the full swing of school, which is sad cause I'm going into week 5 >.< Honestly, I'm more pre-occupied with facebook than I am anything else. But I guess that's the hazard of having almost every class with computers. Excel is for sure the class I really couldn't care less about. It's a bunch of crap and I know most of the stuff, so for 2 hours I sit at the com and do nothing. The exercises are tedious, repetitive, and infinitely annoying, but I don't want to take the exemption exam cause I'm scared I'll fail.

My schedule is filled with 2 hour holes. Now you'd think I'd use that time wisely, but I'm only just starting to take advantage of them. Cause of course you want to balance friends and school, and school is so annoying that I just want to hang out with them.

And of course I leave things till the last minute. Unless I'm pressured to work, then I probably won't do it. I'm trying to change that, but it's not going too well >.< My weekends are for me, not for doing homework >_> and when I get home, xbox live is my stress reliever. Thank you Gears of War ^^

OH YEAH! I can't believe I haven't done this yet, but if anyone wants to add me on XBOX LIVE then they can ^^ my gamer tag is MidnightStrata. Send me a message if you add me, so I know who you are ^_^

And yeah, that's life right now. Missing everyone in Kingston so bad, and of course my family across the ocean <3

Take care everyone ^_^

Alright so most of you know by now that my brother is pretty much finished with cosplay. Why? Because people are stupid fucktards, that's why. Thing is, it's on BOTH SIDES that's the problem.
I hate drama, which is why I avoid it at all costs; remaining impartial is a key factor in all of this. But now, to an extent, I'm involved as well. So this gives me enough grounds to rant about how stupid both sides are being(because there are only two sides with this kind of shit), even though one side is definitely being much much more stupid.

I'll use the human body as an example in my first assessment. If you've got an infected limb, and it just keeps getting worse and worse, THEN YOU CUT IT OFF! END OF FUCKING STORY! Yes, it may be painful. Yes, you may have liked that limb. Yes, it will involve some getting used to. BUT YOU'LL KEEP THE REST OF YOUR BODY FROM BEING INFECTED! Am I right? Yes, yes I am. Why? BECAUSE I KNOW! THAT'S WHY!
But of course, right now the whole entire body is infected. And despite all the doctors' efforts, they can't do shit. They're waiting for the big boss to give them the order to cut the limb off, and by big boss, I mean the patient. And while they wait for the guy to get off his ass and decide, the limb is fucking mutating into something really disgusting. The doctors are freaking out, one of them getting ready with a chainsaw for god's sake, cause obviously they want to help. But they're still waiting.

Then you've got the other side.
ONE PERSON! That's right, I can actually narrow it down that far. And you fucking know who you are. To use a quote from the song Undead by Hollywood Undead... *ahem*... "I SEE YOU DUCK! YOU LITTLE PUNK! YOU LITTLE FUCKING DISEASE!"
And through this one person, through their pity party, they suck everyone in, like a fucking black hole. This makes it easier for said punk to spread bullshit and lies and twist shit to their own gain. THIS I can't stand. THIS is what's making things worse. AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT!!

And honestly? I don't give a flying fuck who's offended by this. I'm pissed. Really pissed. If you're offended, I encourage you to bitch to ME, and me only; to my face, in this journal, msn, facebook, anything! And heck, if we manage to have a civil conversation, then kudos to you. Bitch to someone else about this, and you're a coward; POINT A LA FUCKING LIGNE. Bitching ABOUT someone is much different than bitching TO someone. I've done a little bit of both. But it is also different if you're bitching about a situation, which is also what I'm doing.

So there, that's my little rant. I'm done.



Please continue down for my recap of fan expo
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Fan Expo was an awesome weekend ^_^ now imma recap:

~Friday~
The whole car-ride to the hotel I was shitting myself with excitement. I couldn't wait to see Holly, Jamie, Rebecca, Priscilla, and everyone else ^^ so it made the car-ride go surprisingly fast! When I saw them I think I practically tackled them xD I missed them so much!
Vince and Jamie dressed up like hunters in the hotel room and got fake blood like EVERYWHERE. I was freaking out and cleaning up behind them, and they didn't even stay hunters for long >.< you guys looked so cool! We found some people, went into the dealers room, and then after most of us headed for the dance. The dance was kinda cool; music was still a little too fast and needed a little more beat in my opinion. But I was having fun till I got ditched like a million times >_> After that people just started leaving en mass, and that's about the time I left.

~Saturday~
Was mostly okay. Everyone was getting painted as black people in the hotel room and it took absolutely forever! People kept calling me being all 'where are you guys?' and was all 'ainting people ugghhhhhh'. It was funny though, seeing Holly, Jamie, and Vince being painted up xD I totally fail at painting people, thank god for Rebecca and her uber skilzz!!

When they were pretty much finished, me and Rebecca went down to the con to meet up with Ashley and lend her my Aqua keyblade to complete her epic cosplay ^^ It was so awesome to see her.

But omg the LINES!! They were so LONG! It was absolutely insane how many people were there that day. Usually the path from the North to South building is pretty clear, but there was a line for the friggen escalators!! So me and Rebecca had to go outside and around, it was that bad. And of course there was a line outside the thing just to get in; thank god we had passes, I really pity those people

Randomly saw Justin once we were down there, and through him, Jackie ^^ Stayed with them for a while until we found our black people. I went as Rita from TOV on saturday and was supposed to have my Estelle with me, but it took FOREVER to find her! The person she was with had her cell off till like 2 and I was sad I didn't have my Estelle >.< so sad that I made a sign ;;

Anyway she found me ^^ so we grabbed people and went outside to take pics. I'll upload the best ones to this thing once I've edited them and such. Ashley also took some awesome photos of me and Estelle, and I'll upload those as well.

Saturday night was also amazing ^^ Ended up taking the GO train for the first time ever to treck over to Holly and Jamie's aunts place with Rebecca and Nik for the night. The girls slept downstairs and we stayed up talking till reeeeeeallly late... or early if you were being technical xD

~Sunday~
One of the saddest days of my life >.< but only because I didn't want to leave. Me, Holly, and Rebecca got dropped off in front of my hotel; Rebecca went off to her hotel, and me and Holly went up so I could get changed. I start packing my stuff up to help out my mom, and then find out that nothing else is packed. So I got stuck there for like an hour helping pack up and trying not to freak out cause I was loosing time to spend with everyone. Finally I was let go and got to meet up with everyone again. We hung out, did some stuff, and omg the security guard was so bitchy! He got my pass voided and in the 5 mins we were standing there wondering what to do about it, he voided 5 more! Talk about an asshole!

Then Rebecca had to leave >.< I was pretty good with the positive not-crying thing, then she starts and that did it for me >.< Anya is awesome xD I've known her for like a couple of hours and I cried on her shoulder

Then we went out outside on the skywalk, did some stuff, then said goodbye to people cause me and Vince had to go >.< Most of the group walked back with us to the hotel parking, and while we stood there I just kept getting sadder and sadder, trying reeeeeally hard not to cry. When my mom came down with our stuff, I snapped. I practically burst into hysterics and started hyperventilating. I really didn't want to leave... then I got Priscilla and Holly going and I felt so bad

Honestly guys... I've never broken down like that, ever... You guys mean so much to me, and life really won't be the same without you... It still sucks that I won't be able to see everyone else for a while, but I won't see you guys till next year >.< I'm sad about that, but I'm happy about the time we spent together ^^ <3 love you guys so much!

... but yeah then we drove back to Kingston, dropped off my brother (i tried so hard not to cry and actually succeeded ^^) then drove back to my place.

And that was my weekend ^^ That's all I'll write right now, but I'll update about something else soon.

So I'm officially started school, and to be honest it kinda sucks.

Holly and Jamie left on Friday, and pretty much the whole day I was fighting off tears, me being the emotional person I am >.< The car ride there went way too fast, and I could barely sing to the songs we were playing cause I choked up so much. When we got to their place, me and my bro stuck around for a while, but even that went by too quickly. It was horrible to have to leave, cause I really didn't want to... When we turned the corner out of sight, I broke down into near hysterical sobs, wanting so much to just turn around and go back... I miss them so much... I'll get to see them at Fan Expo, but it's not soon enough...

Then the next day is when I'm the one who has to leave... stupid school starting so damn early... Packed up all my stuff, saw some friends, then left my brother, who I've spent all summer with, behind while me and my mom drove up. That fucking sucked. My mom drove back today, so now I'm here in my little place that's barely been touched since Otakuthon. Everything in this place reminds me of the awesome times we spent here, especially the giant 'AIEEE' taped up on my wall and the Candy sign on my printer.... god I miss you guys so much...

And as if to kick me some more, in my first class we were asked to do a visual representation of an emotion we felt during the summer, and we had to convey that in six words; an actual sentence, not just random words. It was a quick exercise, so I didn't get the chance to make it any better, but I like what I came up with. The image was of a heart, and inside the heart were the Canadian and British flag, each taking up the right and left side respectively. My caption? 'Family don't have to be related.'

So that left me feeling a little sad, again... even chatting with friends that I hadn't seen all summer didn't help that much... It's just so different when I'm around them. All day I only heard one sexual innuendo, ONE! None of my college friends make jokes like that, and it really sucks...

I miss everyone so much...

So school starts in less than a week for me >.< It's both a good and a bad thing.
Good, cause I get to see all my amazing Montreal friends from school and hopefully get to do stuff with Josi and Jaya, both who I look up to like sisters, and everyone else. oh, and DDR! I hope they put the machine back >_> that'll probably make up for my lack of a gym course this semester...
Bad, cause then I'll have to be away from my mom, brother, and my new amazing friends in Kingston. I'll only get to see you guys every 3 weeks or so, and since I don't have friday off the semester, it'll suck getting there and back and yeahhhhhh >_>. Also, my time with Holly and Jamie will be over >.< These last three weeks have been absolutely amazing, and quite honestly, the best times of my life. I feel completely at ease with you two around, and yeah I really feel like I've known you two all my life. I love you both to bits, and I know that next year won't come fast enough >.< Thanks so much for letting me be a part of your summer; I'm truly grateful ^_^

On another note; I FINALLY have my own copy of Drakengard!! For those of you who don't know, Drakengard is an action-rpg produced by Square Enix and Cavia in like 2004 I think. Check Wiki for more details. Anyway, it is so incredibly hard to find that game, since it's not really that well known, and I've been borrowing Bert's copy for the longest time. NOW IT'S MINE!!!! Blockbuster rules for that reason alone xD

Oh! Also, I would really like to thank the amazing for her epic portrayal of my mascot; Radiax. I can't wait to color her epic line art ^^ and maybe get my own picture of her up as well, since she inspired me to finally get my ass moving and get my own rendition up. Luff joo my maritimer sista!

Fan expo is also around the corner. Gonna go as Riku probably on Friday and Sunday, and Rita on Saturday with my amazing Estelle ^_^ also have to ask Vince to fix my Rita boot O.o cause I still haven't done that >.<

And yeah, that's pretty much all the random things going on in my life right now ^_^ See you all soon!

Mostly fail.

I tried, I really did....

Friday the line-up was ridiculous.

Saturday was fun. There were epic times most of the day. Towards the end is where it started going down hill. Dance sucked, so we left. Got stuck in like an hr of traffic, and then Holly got sick. I wandered around in the car for like 45 min trying to find a place that was open cause I had no meds in my place, with no luck.

Sunday me and Rebecca went back to the con, got some stuff, joined the Rape Circle, then left. Rest of the day was kinda half and half.

I felt so horrible... scratch that, I FEEL horrible. Regardless of what anyone says, I feel like it's my fault. I just want to crawl into a hole and die... I tried... maybe it wasn't such a good idea in the first place... Everything is my fault...
I'm so sorry guys...